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09/10/2009 - 12:51 PM

Sometimes I wish I was the normal kind of crazy...

A couple of noteworthy things have happened lately. Last week I went to see the pain management doctor. I had high hopes after that initial visit. I had to go get yet another MRI yesterday, this time of my neck. I went in this morning to get the results of that. As he had suspected, I have 3 bulging disks and arthritis in my neck which is causing the new type of migraines that I've been having.

His choice of treatment is cervical epidural steroid shots. I did a ton of research on that over the past few days and decided that I'm just not comfortable with the potential side-effects and hazards of that treatment. When I told him that, he seemed a bit disappointed, but agreed that it's my body and I have to do what I feel is best.

So all he did was increase my gabapentin...the medication that they already know doesn't work for me. He even warned me that I would feel and act "drunk and stupid" on the high levels he wants me to take.


I waited over an hour for that. Color me disillusioned once again. I think I'm going to dump the pain management doctor and the neurologist. I felt a lot better and functioned at a higher level when the only doctors I had were the cardiologist and Martha.

Other than the doctor drama, the only thing that's gone on around here was our full moon ritual with invited guests last Saturday. We ended up with four adult and two child guests...all of which I now wish had just stayed home. Saoirse brought her significant other, Dusty...they spent the entire afternoon blatantly snapping at each other. Plus, Dusty was being his normal self and stepping on my last nerve at every possible opportunity. He did admit to one of the other guests that I frighten him, however...after I told him that I would squash him like a bug if he didn't tone it down. Aurora brought her younger sister, an obnoxious teenager who will not invite to my home again in the near future. The other two guests were Diana and Kyrie...I wish I had not invited them at all and will not do so ever again. These people know what I do...when I have to physically touch someone, I get all kinds of unwanted info from them.

Like the fact that both of them are doing some serious drugs now. I'm talking meth here...big time seriousness.

Did they really think they could come here, hug me, and still hide it from me? Or did they want me to know for some reason? And I was shown information about Kyrie that I would rather not know, don't know why it was given to me, and then was told I'm not supposed to do anything about it. I was shown her death. I've never, ever had a vision like that about anyone...and I don't want it to ever happen again.

I know it has a purpose...everything does. I'll find it out when I need to...always do. Doesn't make it any easier to live with though.


Mood: not really in a good place right now

To do: I have no earthly clue at the moment

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